Let Me Diverge

I've been busier than busy and absolutely unable to blog.  I have a blog to write about dumpster diving but lack the time to put it together thoughtfully.  In consequence, tonight although I'll stay on topic with food I'll jump rather than dive into a recipe review.

Let's Just Call This "The Trial"

If we're friends on Facebook, you know that I made a cake last week, a cake I termed "A Trial".  It was birthday week in my family.  My mother, one sister, and myself all had our special day in the space of one week, nothing unusual in that, it happens every year.  This year, even though the three birthday folks had cake at my mother's house on Saturday, I decided I would bake a goody on Monday to take to my mother on Tuesday (on her birthday) and then the leftover would suffice as a birthday cake at my house Wednesday.  I like cake.

It thus seemed serendipity when Better Homes and Gardens delivered to my inbox a slideshow of "7 Home-Cooked American Classics".   There, in photo four of ten was a little piece of heaven called simply, Golden Layer Cake with Chocolate Icing.  I was immediately transported to countless church potlucks back in the day when women stilled vied with one another to produce something so mouthwatering that their own families wouldn't recognize the work of their hands.  Days, not so long ago, before the discovery of supermarket bakeries and cakes with shelf lives that will carry them well into The Great Tribulation.

My mouth watered looking at slide number four of seven.

The description with slide number four said:
"A hand-me-down recipe for boiled icing made from evaporated milk and powdered cocoa is the secret to this keepsake cake. The five thin layers may look fussy, but they're done in regular cake pans and bake in just 15 minutes. 'Nothing compares to a homemade cake,' says chef and recipe creator Scott Peacock. 'When you cut into it and there's all those layers, friends are dazzled.'"

Funny how that "five layers" bit didn't phase me.  I was too distracted by the "bake in just 15 minutes".

Once I got home I thought to myself, "What normal household has five matching cake pans?"  I mean, I do but then I'm not normal.  (Actually, the only reason I have five matching pans is that my sister's and I catered our parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary Brunch a few years ago and as a result I have about 12 matching pans.)  Next I wondered, "What normal house without a commercial grade or super big oven has room for five cake pans to bake comfortably?"  Heaven forbid someone want to make this baby in an apartment.

Then, came the actual cake experience.  An experience, estimated by the recipe to take 30 minutes of prep time and 15 minutes of baking.  Harumph...

The cakes did not bake evenly in my very small oven (of course).  (The recipe never suggests that maybe you could bake fewer layers and slice them in half.)  Fifteen minutes stretched to twenty-five minutes as I had to leave some layers in the oven longer than others.  Oh, and that total 45 minutes of prep and baking time neglected to even consider the cooked fudge-like icing.  Have you people ever made fudge?

If the icing is the "secret" of the recipe's success you would think they would factor in the time it takes to make.

I now know why these badboys only made appearances at church potlucks and evening socials.  Absolute trial.  I stood and stood and finally sat in a chair next to my stove while I browsed the internet and waited for that silly chocolate icing to come to the correct temperature.  The whole cake event took well over two hours and much closer to three.

And, that icing that almost broke my spirit, ended up crystallizing ever so slightly.

I found the next day that while my family may have been "dazzled" by five layers of home baked goodness, only two of the people present could brave a second piece for fear of sugar shock.  On the whole, not a smashing success.

For the this practical omnivore the only saving grace of this "classic" recipe is that it's made with common everyday "classic" ingredients.  Don't get me wrong, I will visit this cake again.  It will just be different.

Really, who has five matching cake pans?